everyday i come home, i'll sit in this brown, huge seat ------- a seat that is approximately 3/4 of my height, one whereby i had to climb onto when i was young, one that has existed even before i was born, i guess.

i always sit and think about the day, whatever that had happened. then it has always struck me, reflections, of my actions. were they positive or negative? and i wonder, do others sit and reflect? or do they just go home, take a refreshing shower and just slack the day off or just do things as they please? at this very moment, im thinking, how am i like to others in fact? my actions, to myself, may seem all right, neutral, no offence, nothing. come to think of it, it may be just myself thinking too much or as what they say, paranoid; i think that i go too far at times.

i appreciate negative comments coming in, though they arent that much, so does that mean that im almost flawless? i beg to differ. i know where my cons are, and i bet that my pros are way lesser than my cons. no one is flawless, no one is perfect. then when people start to give u a cold shoulder, out of the blue, you tend to wonder, like im wondering myself, what have i done? it's torturing to get away without knowing what has exactly happened. though a saying goes, it's better not to know things than to know about them. yet, without knowing, you get hurt by whatever that is happening in front of you; when u know about it, you get hurt too.

life is fragile; life isnt sweet. life is full of obstacles, preparing to knock us dead down and that's the time we give up. i held on tight, i held on pretending that everything isnt crashing down. now i face, another challenge, one that will stab in straight, no warning, no call. and i just fall from where i stand, to depths below that no one can imagine; im gone.