going home

Date: Friday, July 17, 2009
Time: 8:16 AM

study tactics

your grades for this mid years:
GP: S
PHYSICS: S
ECONS: S
CHEM: U
MATHS: U

1. always do your tutorials
2. re-do your tutorials as revision
3. understand what you are doing when u attempt the questions in tutorials
4. expand your knowledge, try broader questions
5. this is what weijing told me, and i shall try :D

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Date:
Time: 8:07 AM

reappeared

he came into my sight today as i just sat there silently. my eyes followed him as he disappeared behind me.

i still remember asking my seniors about him, hahaha. how foolish i am. but it was worth while. although i didnt get to know much about him, sitting in a corner and observing him is enough for me. now i just have pictures cause apparently he added me in facebook! hahaha, funny world? i've a feeling the friend he was with was also from tk cause he kept looking at my direction. recognised me? hahaa

i want to swim and play tennis. i want to slim down.

im not having the motivation.

COME MOTIVATION, COME TO ME, PLEASE.

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Date: Saturday, July 11, 2009
Time: 7:29 PM

this supposed to be posted right after exams

i'm not sure who i've told this to, but i shall write here for myself to know.

during the chem paper, i felt like giving up. honestly, seriously. that amount of stress, that number of blank questions, even one who doesnt know chem but sees that will definitely faint. i remembered, vividly and clearly, i put down my pen, my mind was in a whirl. something kept saying, just give up, you know you were going to fail (and you did). i looked around, everyone was immensely writing on their scripts, some rubbing their heads, not knowing how to answer? or it was a feeling of itchiness?

that was chem.

maths, hah, i thought i'd do much better. turned out it was worst. the worst of the worse. it's like the base of the crop, maybe not even the base. maths was supposed to be my best subject in fact. i did most of my tutorials, more than my close ones (except soon) yet i scored such a grade. what is the world coming to?

physics was my most confident subject somehow. maybe it's because the number of blanks were lesser? i managed to attempt most questions despite knowing the percentage of having them be correct is 50%?

econs, i thought i understood what elasticity means but no, i still screwed up. i know my results for this paper gonna be low. very low.

gp, not to say about this, confirm another low one.

im prepared for doom.

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Date:
Time: 8:13 AM

it's really fails

whatever you say, i thought u didnt mind that i did very badly for my SAs. but think about it, there's so much to cope and so much happening. moving of house, choir, studies, what more?

i thought when u said "just try your best", u knew that i was facing difficulties coping with my studies and everything else. in the end, u were just trying to say that i didnt put in enough effort, i didnt make full use of my time to study.

that amount of time i spent on doing annie's present, u said i was playing around, i didnt concentrate on my studies. asking my brother whether i had the time is definitely an obvious answer. duh it's a "you have so much time to study but it's your fault that you dont make full use of it and you kept playing computer games".

i've already stopped playing maple for such a long time. it has been so long since i've played a proper game but yet, you still blame me. he played sooo many games but you praised him cause he was able to provide you with results and i couldnt.

whatever the reson is, you just dont want me to get an ipod. you think that my friends are all out to harm me, to pull me down, to prevent me from scoring good grades. you think that im a 10-year-old kid? you think i dont know who is good to me and who isnt? let me tell you, i know very well who treats me well and who doesnt.

i cant take it anymore, it's just always like that. whatever i do, it's wrong. even if i get good results, they are not as good as his. i must, i have to score 100 to be on par. what can i do then you'll be equal and fair? you said you are being fair, but in fact you are not. you must go and reflect, honestly.

tell me what to do.

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Date: Sunday, July 5, 2009
Time: 6:51 AM

desire

i badly want to own an iPod touch. lol. my aunt recommended a refurbished one and the price is way lower than a brand new set! sounds interesting right?

oh man.

wait for my bro to come back so i can confirm my order? IT HAS TO BE BOUGHT ONLINE. OMG. T.T

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Date: Friday, July 3, 2009
Time: 9:49 AM

replacement or substitute?

i recently realized that you're closer to her now. yea maybe the two of you are of the same ____ and she is more fun, lame, along the same frequency, i guess you have forgotten the times we used to have.

maybe im just too naggy, maybe i say too much. so much that all my words are just like a radio that broadcasts information to its listeners and are forgotten the very next moment. all those times when u stuck to me instead of her, is it because she has someone else? yet now, you two stick to each other, everything goes to her first.

honestly, i feel left out, like i dont belong there anymore. it's just that i have to be there to make the picture complete. sometimes, even when im there, i feel as if im not there. my existence does not matter. this is probably because im getting closer to my class? my class is slightly more fun than the rest? and that im sticking closer to them?

i dont think so you know. as in, i try my best to make time between them and us. so many times they have gone out together, i didnt, i went with you all. in fact, they seem closer themselves while im stuck in the middle between us and them. im neither here nor there. that's why, i think to myself at times, having geng is one of the fortunate things cause when there's no one truly with me, i can rely on him and i know he will be there for me.

but dont you find that 2.5 years of friendship, of which 2 years of hardcore indepth friendship is going to waste? you said we are falling apart. i guess it's starting from us.

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Date: Thursday, July 2, 2009
Time: 5:29 AM

overeat?

*KABOOM!*

that was what i thought will happen after dinner. im terribly full! seriously, i feel like my body's gonna burst! oh man. i can sit, stand nor do anything without feeling all right.

i feel that i've gained weight. horribly much weight. oh dear T.T NAPFA's coming, im not well trained and fit for it. GG. howhow?! i need to run. i wanted to run today! but something unfortunately came. -.- thus i have to postpone my running trip.

grrr.

it's finally ending (:

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