going home

Date: Sunday, January 3, 2010
Time: 12:16 AM

i should have made up my mind that very day

htc isnt good. even mrs wong said so. i should havea sked her? how stupid can i get? i should have gotten iphone. haiz. im full of regrets. yea it's good people think that im happy most of the time and im contented with my life which usually i am but seriously, i got the chance ofgetting an iphone! but i let it slip away. how stupid am i? very.

so what i can do now is to save up as much money as i can to pay the counter-forfeit and get the iphone at the end of this year. maybe getting a htc now will prevent myself from playing it too much?

i should have listened to geng. im an idiot.

im sorry for throwing my temper, im sorry for throwing a tantrum despite knowing that you arent feeling well the whole time. but what can i do? i miss you so much, i only had that few minutes with you.

i felt so horrible when she told me she got her dslr because i want it so badly and i just told her about it, and she got it on the very first day of 2010. what did i get? it's no wonder she said 'i love my daddy'. i know she's kinda spoilt. but honestly, i thought she has woken up from her dream, she has thought clearly about how her dad has been treating her and all but no, mainly it's because of the camera i guess.

im trying not to be materialistic where my parents have to get every expensive thing i want. im trying to save up but at times i cant. my money is flying everywhere, to places unknown and i cant think of either. but why.

for this whole holiday, i was slogging my guts out going to Pomo and school for choir, going to obs, how much of a break do i have?

like i wrote in my blog post, people never fail to realise how fortunate they are, including myself.

i should do what i should do to earn myself what i want. that's the best i can think of.

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